How did I woke up in a small town 100 miles away in a pile of garbage cans?

I was at homes watching Rosseane when I opened up a beer bottle and the next think I remember is that I woke up very far away in a city's garbage pile, and it seems that my body is covered in milkshkaes, it even smells uhh!! Apparently they don't speak English here and Im using the libraries computer, how do I get back home ASAP?